Yummy Yummy

I am still here, suffering on my death bed. Okay, well not exactly a death bed but still I feel as rough as a badgers bottom. Watching the news today made me think perhaps it really isn’t just a common cold but perhaps, just maybe, it could be bird flu. D’ya think? No, me neither. So I am still here downing the Benylin and Buttercup Syrup. I actually think I may overdose on Nurofen Cold and Flu tablets due to my new found addiction.

So sitting here all week long doing bugger all has given me plenty of time to think (can you hear the cogs whirring…) and I have decided to go along with my new Domestic Goddess routine that I am going to become a Yummy Mummy. Yes thats right, I am going to glamourous, graceful, clever, witty and slim all in one swoop. According to Liz Fraser who has written a book entitled “The Yummy Mummy’s Survival Guide” you should use accessories to draw attention away from your waist, keep a simple make-up routine going and stand and walk tall. Now I don’t think I am doing too badly on the being slim part, I lost my baby blubber relatively quickly and have about 6lbs to lose to get back to my pre-preggy weight, make-up – well I do manage that of a sort most days, but walking tall, well thats pretty difficult when you are five foot nothing. My main issue is my hair and clothes. It doesn’t matter how much time I spend poring over hair magazines, every time I go to Toni and Guy I end up coming out with the same mop-top do I went in with, albeit slightly shorter. And clothes? dont get me started. I love shopping, I really do, but all clothes seem to look awful on me – honest to god. I strive for that ‘groomed’ appearance, but it ain’t ever going to happen.

But I think there must be more to being a Yummy Mummy, and I am not sure that its all good. I mean apart from the personal trainer, the Range Rover and the American Express platinum card, what else is there to being a Yummy Mummy and honestly, should we really be aspiring to be this perfect? Is it a good role model for our daughters? Are we better off just being ‘real’ mums – tying our hair back as it is quicker than brushing it, spending our days sorting through piles of washing, our clothes always having a nice splattering of baby vomit, and yes, god forbid, have that extra bit of flubber around our tummies and maybe even a few stretch marks *gasp*. Does all of that really makes us bad people, terrible mothers and awful wives and girlfriends? Will transforming ourselves into a gorgeous creature like one of the aforementioned Yummy Mummy’s make us better people? Answer: Probably not. But I still want to be one!

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